Ahhhhh! Did you ever have one of those weekends you wish to block from your mind? I did. Lets see here, Dave is laid off 1 day a week which leaves us without enough money for our house payment so luckily I had a little bit of money left in our checking to cover it. His truck is broke down and he has to use my truck which uses more gas :( I miss my baby lol We also came to find out that for him being laid off that 1 day a week we get NO unemployment NONE! I dont go back to work until January, which sucks badly. It does leave me extra time to do tatting but, I havent sold any of my tatting, I did sell a few books though which helps out a little. My photography isnt going as well as I planned either, I "thought" I would be selling pictures left and right HA HA!! only sold 3 in the past year but hey atleast I sold some right? I have been trying so hard to not let this stuff all get me down, but I have my moments of just crying, because I am scared of what we are going to do about the bills if it comes down to not having enough money. :( My kids want things at times you know extra goodies, snacks etc... we ran out of eggs and butter so I couldnt make cookies for them, you dont know how bad that makes me feel, I always try to give my family what I can, and I feel like I am failing right now. Its so hard getting an 8 and 9 year old to understand these things. Usually by now I had enough money put back for Christmas to "pay" Santa and looks like Santa wont be bringing much this year :( I hate that part the most I do have a few things so far but no where near what I wanted to get I do sell Avon and with my discount I may be able to get a few extras but with the way my sales are lately I can imagine not. 2 other friends and I are having a party with Avon-Mary Kay & Lia Sophia jewelry in Novemeber I am hoping to get a few extra customers out of it, but I am not counting on it at all, I have learned to NOT count on things. I will also be turning 32 next month the age thing dosent bother me but Dave wants to get me something for my birthday, I dont want anything because of money and he will keep insisting, What do I say to him, there wont be the money for it. I suggested that he and the kids bake me a cake and make it look awesome with icing and stuff but he says he wants to buy something. He dosent really understand about the money I finally after 10 years of marriage have him doing bills with me and now he sees where the money goes, but still he just dont get we need the little things like toothpaste tooth brushes q-tips etc and that adds up fast... If anyone has the seeds for a money tree please send them to me LOL As a result of this I am cutting myself off from friends, just feeling too down to even have a good conversation with anyone. I dont like to complain to people I feel like such an ass (pardon the language) when other people have more troubles than I do. and if I do say things to a certain friend, she always has it worse, and more troubles than I etc... So the dogs have to listen and they look at me like I got 4 eyeballs or something LOL On a better note I took my kids Trick or Treating yesterday they had so much fun and it took my mind away for awhile. My sister went with us, I could have done without so much of the drama, I got enough of my own LOL On a sad note we lost the next door neighbor (my parents neighbor) one day last week, I have known them for about 22 years (i think) it was sad, he will be missed. I think this year has been the roughest one for deaths for me so far 3 this year and I think that is the most EVER. I dont like to deal with it but its a part of life.
Sorry to gripe so much but Its my blog and I will cry if I want to LOL Its my little place to vent and just get things out.
I think today calls for tatting! I am gonna put on my favorite music and tat my troubles away of course after the kids go to school in about an hour :)
Have a good day all