Heather's Free Tatting Patterns

~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, February 28, 2011

???

It is so hard to believe how one moment can turn your world inside out and upside down and all around.

I am so sad, I feel I will not get through this. I wander why it happened, I keep thinking what if? My mind can't focus on anything right now. I have so many things running through my head. It is so hard to keep it together sometimes I just can't and the emotion explodes inside of me.

I want to scream, yell, cry, pound my fists, stomp my feet, and break things.

I can't sleep much, I cry uncontrollably at times, I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like I could die, I want to just curl into a ball and lay in bed ALL DAY! I never ever thought this would hurt so bad, I always prayed I would never feel this kind of pain. I feel empty and lost.

I feel like crap, I look like hell, I feel I won't be happy ever again. I hate having my children and husband see me like this. They understand but I still don't like it. If it weren't for my husband and kids right now I probably would just give up. I know this isn't the end of the world but I feel like it is.

Its only been 4 days but it already feels like an eternity, the days seem soooooo long, today was my 1st day alone and it was not a good day.

I can not stand the pain, I really hope this is the last bad thing to happen this year, I don't know if I could handle anything else.

I was going to try and tat a little tonight but I lost interest in no time, I am so tired and I just feel weak (both tired and as a person) I keep getting nasty headaches from all the crying. I wish I could understand.

3 comments:

Laivine said...

Hugs and more hugs.

Rayanna said...

You will understand in time. I love you and am thinking of you always.

Aunt Robin said...

it hard...but sit..breath.."accept what is"...fully acknowledge your feelings..they will pass more quickly that way. There is also a place where you can submit your name for prayers and metaphysical aid...go to AMORC click on counsel of solace the aid will last as long as you need it. May you find comfort.