I am starting to wrap my head around it all, the sadness is easing but only a tiny bit.
I am starting to get back into a little routine, it seems to be helping some. My house looked like a disaster, I cleaned up yesterday and even vacuumed, I was starting to wander if I had black carpeting instead of green, Riley is shedding he needs brushed, maybe today...
Tonight I am going to make Baked Tilapia, with AuGratin potatoes. Kind of sounds good for tonight. My sons BSC is coming tonight also, she has been calling and checking up on me and talking with me which is helping alot. My friends most of who have gone through this same thing are really helping too, Thanks to everyone who is keeping track of me right now, I can not express how much it is helping me. My husband got on me the other night and told me to stop dwelling on it so much, which is what I was doing spending every waking moment thinking. I needed him to do that I feel a little better, I look better too not like a zombie, I actually have been getting some sleep the past 2 nights, not alot but some. It is making a difference.
I am sure I may get annoying talking about it alot but I need to get it out. I have never experienced this and I pray I never have to experience anything like it again. The pain sometimes feels unbearable. All my emotions are raging, I find myself wanting to just fall to the ground screaming, but I don't, I can't.
I am getting back into my tatting, slowly. Yesterday was the first day I felt up to anything. I did these just messing around.
I also drew out a design but have yet to even start on it. Its called "forever in my heart".
Yesterday I seen about 25 robins in the field across from my driveway. It was nice, I can't wait for spring so I can take long walks and forget about the world for awhile.
I have been walking outside and took this picture this morning, its old dead ferns of some kind but I thought it looked interesting.
I plan on tatting some more today, I will attempt the test tatting I was asked to do. I need to keep myself busy right now. Here is a song that I heard on the radio which is one of my favorites from awhile ago that I thought seemed fitting right now.
...In the arms of the angel, far away from here...